THE BIRTH OF THE LION -PART II- SELF- INQUIRY
Abridged Version (20 % of the integral text)
I still don’t understand exactly how observing the I-thought works, how to go to the bottom of this one last thought and the essential question, Who am I?
Who says that it is about observing the I-thought?
That’s what I have understood it to be.
It’s not about observing the I-thought; it’s about observing the one that clings to the thought.
And it doesn’t matter what thought it is?
Every thought is an I-thought.
Isn’t there one last or first thought, and once one has seen how it arises, liberation is here?
The truth is that every thought is the first thought and the last.
The I-thought itself has no form that is somehow extraordinary? Is it a totally normal thought, and one just has to see how it arises?
Every thought can be followed back to its root. When you speak of the first thought to which everything can be followed back, you speak from the conceptual framework of time, as if the thoughts have arisen in the evolution of time. It is possible, however, to follow a thought back in this moment. In this moment, there is only one thought.
The problem is that instead of really following the thought all the way back to its source, expression is given to further thoughts, which equally arise from deeper layers underneath the thought. To follow one single thought that arises back to its origin seems to be difficult. This is because there is a tendency to land, and this landing happens by clinging to other thoughts that may also arise.
When I become more and more silent, especially in Darshan, there is a moment in which I’m waiting for the next thought to arise, and just by that waiting for a thought to arise, no thought arises.
This is the cat waiting in front of the mouse hole that Gangaji talks about. When the cat is vigilant, no mouse shows up. …
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I invite you to recognize where all forms and contents arise from, to recognize the source of forms and contents.
By source, do you mean the mind?
No. What you call mind is not your direct experience but rather a pretense of knowledge which is itself content. But content can’t recognize its source. What is it that the eyes cannot see?
They can see everything. They can see feelings. They can also see through something.
Imagine eyes that have attained the highest possible degree of sensitivity and can penetrate anything. Profoundly, in their highest possible sensitivity depending on how they have been trained, the eyes are capable of seeing the most subtle forms. But what is it they can’t see? The big trap of illusion in which the mind gets caught again and again is the illusion that you can see yourself. What eyes can’t see is themselves.
But we see them when we look into the mirror.
No, you don’t see the eye itself, you see the reflection of the eye, and you mistake the mirror image for the eye itself. You haven’t recognized who sees. This question remains unanswered.
How can eyes see themselves? Eyes can only see objects. When you look into a mirror, there is only an object. The mirror has to be destroyed.
You cannot see your Self. If you could see your Self, it would be an object. And once it is an object, it is a reflection. You can only see reflections of your Self. This understanding is radical. The misunderstanding occurs when you take these most subtle reflections like feelings, for Truth and confuse them for the Self. But these are still only reflections in a shop of mirrors, and you get lost in the labyrinth of reflections until you recognize who it is that sees all of it. This is you! The source of all.
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What keeps you from simply relaxing the mind? What keeps you from leaving the mind in peace? It is something much more simple than anything you could ever imagine. You need not observe anything, and you need not, not observe anything. It is not about your efforting to do something. What if you simply, just for a moment, gave up any effort to do anything. To give up effort means to give up resistance. It means to give up fear, or any doing, or any having to go somewhere else except where you already are. You can leave behind every concept of needing to observe something or not being allowed to observe something.
When you are aware of being aware, it is totally natural that everything arises. There is no longer a subconscious. It doesn’t require any effort or concentration of consciousness to notice something appearing in consciousness. When the sun shines you don’t need a torch. When I say that it is all about observing something, this is just a transitory aid to assist in the possibility of falling deeper. In reality, there is nothing to observe. You think you have to make an effort, but it is all about giving up precisely this effort, just for a moment.