THE BIRTH OF THE LION -PART II- SUFFERING
Abridged Version (23 % of the integral text)
Indolence is never ready to give everything. Giving everything is not within its horizon. Who is ready to give everything? Indolence is the desire to feel good rather than the desire to be free.
It seems as if a repeated shock is necessary to permanently wake up from indolence, especially if you have recognized that you don’t need much in life, that you can be satisfied with what you have, and everything seems to be wonderful.
Indolence, otherwise known as laziness, is the most dangerous disguise of suffering because in this form, suffering is not obvious as suffering. The attachment to the relative bliss of laziness is not obvious. The truth is that this relative bliss is dependent on certain circumstances, on certain phenomena, and when these phenomena change, there won’t be much bliss left either. But in the moment of pure indolence, one is not completely aware of it.
I can say that a repeated shock seems to be necessary to interrupt the landing in indolence. The shock is a kind of death that exposes what is not true.
Is it possible for me to create this shock myself?
No, the teacher will create the shock.
And life can be the teacher as well?
It is not known how the teacher will appear, as a person or as so-called circumstance, but it will appear. …
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There seem to be different forms of fear. The fear that I spontaneously experience as a reaction to physical threat does not seem to be the same as the fear that is potentially always lurking about.
There is fear and there is fear. There is fear as Rembrandt and there is fear as a copy of Rembrandt. Everything that spontaneously, unpredictably, and uncontrollably arises from this moment is Rembrandt. Every inner manifestation that is tainted by ideas of the past, is a copy. Everything created by an I- idea is a falsification.
If you cross the street and someone suddenly approaches you drawing a weapon, you are afraid. In this instance, fear is a spontaneous, direct and natural reaction. That is Rembrandt. That is life. That is authentic. That is what is played in the dream.
But this kind of fear is not the fear you suffer from. The fear you suffer from, which is this nagging fear that you say lurks about, has yet to be truly recognized. It arises from the catacombs of the graveyard. The catacombs of the graveyard are what I call the karmic story, what I call the past, what I call ignorance. A distinction has to be made here, a separation, a disentanglement of the feeling of fear from the past idea of fear so that the fear can be experienced directly. When fear is experienced directly, then the seeming interlacing of the feeling of fear with the past is cancelled out, and it becomes possible to fall deeper. Feelings are like tunnels that lead you deeper into the experience of Self.
Anger can be another powerful tunnel if you are willing to experience it directly in its core. However, if you experience resistance to anger, then this is no longer anger but already some kind of an interlacing. Resistance is a lukewarm copy of the power of the original, the fire of anger itself. This fire is not directed against anything. Only thoughts direct it against something. If you don’t follow the anger with thoughts, the fire takes its own direction.
Anger is not a thought. As soon as you believe that anger is directed against something, you are dwelling in thoughts and not purely experiencing the anger. This happens to you again and again. You keep falling into this same trap. Anger is not resistance at all. Anger is energy. Anger is pure shakti, pure energy, but then all the mental justifications arise as to why you are angry. Then anger is given meaning, and you get caught in the meaning instead of simply recognizing that anger is anger, rage is rage. Meanings are insignificant. As soon as you give importance to any meaning, you are no longer in reality, because a meaning can only be given according to a limited level of understanding. This means that there is no ultimate answer to your question. If you want an answer, here is the answer given in the Zen tradition: It doesn’t mean anything.